"To whom it may concern,

 

My name is Jack McGrath I am 21 years old....Not 80. you have prescribed the medication that I cannot explain the effects of to help assist me. This medication definitely numbs my senses of the pain that I feel. That’s not all it does, it numbs my reactions, it numbs my feelings and it numbs me from reality. I worked my way through medication like a child at a swimming centre my body gets used to one pill so I moved to the next.

 

What level am I on now? am I close to finishing or I’m only halfway, Is there something at the end for me or do I have to drop out? I would love some answers but I don’t think I would like them. I know that these pills are here to help, the surgery is too severe it’s too dangerous and I’d love to prevent it for as long as I can. If I could only explain the pain, that’s right the pain! Not what I was told in a consultation that it was just an ache this is a pain! It feels like I’ve been kicked in the spine like I’m tied to wall with my back inverted. This sounds silly but when my back is hurting and I lay down I feel like a Turtle that is on its Shell I either have to roll to get onto my feet or I need someone to come over and grab me by the hand and pull me up, it feels like I’m snapping my bones, ripping the tendons if I do not get up in a careful manner.

 

I wish I could change bodies with any of you just for a day you will understand what I mean you understand what I wish not to have and hopefully you have a easier understanding of the subject and have a better way of describing it to me. I’m always asked what do I do to prevent this pain, I’m sorry “ache” Well what I do is I exercise every day, whether that be walking, going to the gym or even surfing I am outside of my flat and I am letting my body work, building muscles supporting my spine supporting my mental health and freeing myself from the feeling of emptiness due to the pills side-effects.

 

Thanks for the help,

Yours sincerely Jack McGrath"